n, I’ll attempt to do that here.
I think of NLP as the deep study of thinking–how patterns form, how the senses contribute to the patterns that form, and how to unravel the patterns. It took me at least a year or two after my initial training to fully appreciate what I had been learning. Suddenly I could “see” patterns unfolding in myself and others. In a way it demystified the sometimes rocking and rolling way we do life. Behaviors and thoughts are simply sequences of sensory bits. Low self-worth is simply the the bad habit of replaying old memories and talking poorly to my self. Depresseion is the above pattern still operating despite our best efforts to pull the plug on the pattern. Naturally, it is much more complex than this but not when you really practice reading the patterns. Essentially, NLP training woke me up and made me a curious observer of others and less self-obsessed.
Family Constellation Work was simply an addition to this and fitted itself naturally into how I was already doing things. FCW made me curious about patterns outside of the senses having to do with deep family loyalties and connections–and they are definitely a part of our daily experience. Where NLP was about internal sensory patterns, FCW was about external systemic patterns. (Image is of Bert Hellinger and I. My first image in a post 
)
Finally, the structural tension work of Robert Fritz connects both of the above. For some reason I did not dedicate myself to becoming adept at working with structural patterns but it still informs me on a daily basis. Probably the two most important things I gained from studying with Robert was the idea of an oscillating structure (I want this . . . And I want this). Two beliefs or desires in conflict with one another create the oscillating movement that keeps us stuck. Creating a new structure frees us once again. The other important thing I gained here was the realization that we all have deep hidden opinions of ourselves and these opinions (for the most part) cannot be done away with. If I secretly believe that I am stupid (old programming?) no amount of college degrees or recognition for my smartness will change that opinion. Rosalind (Robert’s wife) says that all we can do is shake hands with it and then go on to create what we most want to create in life.
The “glue” holding these three different life paths has always been family, writing, teaching, and what I call “puttering”. I need all of those to make the others work.
As I was listening to these representative tapes, I was wondering how I would integrate 30 years of work into one synthesized model. Oddly, the answer is I can’t–not in my professional work. However, when I write (and occassionally when I teach) all the many concepts and ways of being seem to blur together and become something whole–not separate models at all but a beautiful blend. And when I try to put the blend into words, it just comes out in the simplest little phrases like “See God in each other,” “Stay your right age,” and “Be your authentic self.”
It makes me smile–to recall the complicated paths I have taken to get to such simple statements. But why not accept that and simplify the rest of my life to match the simple statements. Why not?
Why not?
J. Lee